Since Thea + Cody’s wedding is such a unique (and awesome) take on a wedding day, I wanted Thea to share a little about their experience:
From the bride: Cody and I have been together for almost ten years, so we were already pretty committed to each other (and our fur baby), but we felt that it was time to make the whole thing “official”. However, we knew that the traditional “get married in the church you were baptized in and invite your entire graduating class” thing wasn’t for us. I have anxiety that varies from mild to crippling, and Cody isn’t too fond of being the center of attention. Hence our “super secret surprise wedding”! We invited the people that meant the most to us as a couple (and that could keep a secret), and we made a conscious effort to make every aspect of the wedding, and the reception, represent us. There were definitely moments of doubt, and at least one complete breakdown when I realized that I wouldn’t have the tutu princess gown of my dreams, but looking back, there’s absolutely nothing that we would change. We got married at our favorite place in the world, spent the weekend with our favorite people, and celebrated who we are individually, and as a couple, in a ceremony that represented us perfectly.
Were some of our friends upset when they found out? Unfortunately, yes. But after we had time to explain why it was so important to us that we have our wedding this way, and they had time to process the news, I’m happy to say that everyone was able to celebrate with us in the end.
The reception was also far from traditional. We didn’t want anything that felt too formal, and it was important to us that we be able to escape to a quiet place if we got too anxious, so we went with a picnic style reception at my parent’s house. I spent hours creating tissue paper pom poms and paper medallions to decorate, and with the help of our friends (and a certain photographer) we transformed the garage into a sugary sweet oasis! We had a candy bar, a photobooth, outdoor games, and an all vegan menu from our local food cooperative. It was a beautiful day and the perfect way to celebrate without the pressure of being the center of attention.
Since our wedding, we’ve had plenty of time to think about our ceremony and just how different it was from those of most of the couples we know. And despite this fact (or perhaps because of it), I can say with all confidence that our wedding was perfect for us. We got to throw in quotes that truly represented our feelings on love without worrying that others would be offended by our less traditional beliefs. We included statements about our love for comic books, our plans to have our ashes made into magical rings, and we sealed our agreement with a mead ceremony (as described in our inspiration for the venue, American Gods by Neil Gaiman). Our secret ceremony gave us a chance to celebrate our love without a lot of added stress and pressure, and we had an opportunity to share our excitement with the rest of our loved ones at our casual reception a month later.
What’s my advice for other brides? Don’t let anyone pressure you into something that makes you feel uncomfortable or out of place. Your wedding is a day for you and your partner to celebrate what you have, not to impress or please anyone else. Not a fan of big crowds? Don’t want to answer a million questions about your wedding plans for a year before the event? Consider a “secret” wedding! It gives you a chance to plan a day that truly speaks to you, and trust me, the fun of keeping a secret and eventually sharing it with the rest of the world is a pretty awesome feeling too!
And Kiera + Josh of The Adventures Of created this sweet video of the secret ceremony in House on The Rock: